just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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