I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
