and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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