The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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