If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
