I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
