He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I need to stop coming to work sober
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
