i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
