Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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