is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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