Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize