she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He passed out mid-signature
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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