It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
