You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
