1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
