i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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