just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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