the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
