margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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