oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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