He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
