It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
