the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
