i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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