Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
