I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize