but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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