that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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