he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
