K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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