I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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