Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
