Porn is love you can see.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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