He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
