But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My vagina is officially offended.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
