you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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