He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
