so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
