hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
