OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
