This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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