i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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