There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
