I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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