i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
