He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
