mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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