I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Acid is not a monday night drug
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
