I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
