So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
