either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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