He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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