Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
