I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
