What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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