Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
