I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
