When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
