i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
