"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
