i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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