my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
