I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
